perfect in it's own way...

~

2010-01-28T02:52:00.001+08:00

No more alcohol this week. Nor next week I think (:

Penny Black

2010-01-27T03:11:00.002+08:00

Haven't been posting for abt a month coz i started work (: At Penny Black (:
Gotta admit when I just started it was a bit irritating coz I made mistakes, and always have ppl telling you to do this do that. It's like my first job so I'm like noobling and slow. Now it's getting slightly better. Passed my OJT(On-Job Trng) Test1 but there's still e food test~!!!! Omg I think I'll die and flunk that! I don't want fail!!!!
Haha PB is bad influence sia coz now I'm drinking occassionally coz I get free drinks!!!!!! :D Haha don't envy me sia (((:

Victor said he'll turn up today but he didn't. That's a second time. Last sunday same thing happened. Well anything ((:

Dropped my locker key. Shucks. Hope will find it tmr....... Hope hope...........

Happy New Year 2010!

2010-01-01T08:31:00.003+08:00

Good bye 2009 and HELLO 2010!
Like everyone else, 2009 is a year full of both happiness and regrets but we just have to live with it and welcome 2010 with a most optimistic mind!

Wow and I'm so happy! On the last day of 2009 I got an employment and on the first day of 2010 I overcame my fear and went up and down ShiRui's rooftop! Woohooo~! Sure started out well didn't I? :D

First things first, my new year resolution! (just so i remember)
1. No mac, less fast food and fried food
2. Drop another 2-3kg
3. EXERCISE!
4. Train core muscles
5. Work hard so don't take $$ from mummy again (at least while I'm working and maybe a month after that)
6. Dance more! (: (PS: find cheaper classes and go back RV kop free dancing :D)

Seriously can't think of many sia. Hahahaha.... that's that at least for now (:

Hope to start work soon and hope yishi can find some work she likes (:

PS: If I didn't reply your msg last night, it's coz singtel ate my msgs... =X
So I didn't receive yours......... Yups I'm pissed and probably changing server :(

2009-12-30T22:27:00.007+08:00

Sometimes I feel that we're of an awkward age, having doubts and our first few relationships. Recently talked to several friends and realised alot ppl unclear of what they want or are constantly living in an illusion of the relationship. hm...

It's like hard for some friends of my age to breakup. It's like after you break up you keep thinking of the sweet and nice things the person did for you or which you experienced together. Instead of logically wanting a breakup after the person's gone overboard or that you're actually hurting yourself over the relationship (esp physically), we tend to remember and keep thinking and cherishing the sweet moments, feeding ourselves with illusions. Is it right or wrong? It may be a way to endure and lengthen a relationship but is that what you want? Constantly living under the pressure of that person who is driving you crazy with his jealousy? Constantly tolerating a desperate person who keeps trying to get back to you while flirting and not taking responsibility for his actions behind you back? Is that really the life you want to continue spending? Sometimes it's only after we've awaken that we see how foolish and stupid and how much of a lousy person or incompatible you are with that person. I've been through and I hope my friend will soon awaken from their illusion and live a better and more happy and fulfilling life after. Love can be found in many ways, from many people. Friends and family show everlasting love. It's not necessary to cuff yourself in an illusion of sweetness which is hurting you more.

Hm... anyway back to my interview. Apparently Durty Nelly didn't get back to me so I went Marina Sq with yishi (thanks for the company :)) yesterday to check with the person. Got to know from the manager Cynthia that they have no short of staff at the moment. Well as planned, travelled on to Raffles to Penny Black then on to Ballymoon and Scruffy (or Muddy?) Murphy at Orchard Hotel. Apparently because of my hectic dance schedule, manager at Penny's not really keen on taking me since I'm unable to work either shift on fri and sat, their peak period so I'm like basically quite useless. Says he'll get back to me start of jan if they have need of ppl but no promises. Hm... left quite disheartened. Scruffy's was worse coz the manager outright say they dont take ppl with no experience in F&B coz take 4-5 months to adapt by the time which I'll be leaving. Seriously who takes 4-5 mths to settle in a new job?!!!! esp like a server job? oh man....thats like EXAGGERATION! Haix... thought no chance liao.

Then this morning or around noon someone called me to tell me to register with their main office at Tanglin Shopping Centre and then call them back. Thought it sounded like Apex or something since I saw the name on online job search. Thought I maybe accidentally send my resume to another employment agency. But just now when I came home and check the number they gave me, apparently they were calling from Penny Black's! and the company is Gaelic Inns. Wow! Hope that since they told me to register means there's a chance of me being employed bah.... pray hard pray hard... ((: Please?

Going Tanglin tomorrow morning 10am to register and call them back! Hope it's successful... :S (: Then got 4C steamboat!!! wooohoo~!

had a good chat with Lae.

(((:
Optimism and Hope (:
~~<3

2009-12-28T02:48:00.006+08:00

Almost a month since I posted since no one reads anyway. and when I read earlier, I remember the last post was on some blog shopping. Well I thank santa for giving me a chance to grant my own wish since my friend's ordering from discountdance.com and thus I can ship together at a lower price! Bad news is I only ordered a red mirella leotard... Harmonie is having sale! But I didn't grab it because some of the sale leotards are overdesigned than my preference and I haven't gotten work so no money! Sigh... thanks santa anyways (: though I didn't grab the opportunity.

Past few days have been fun! Hmmm due to some misunderstandings, I decided to start searching for my own job so on Thurs, Christmas Eve, Jo pei me went Iluma Suites for job interview. Basically it's some sort of my first face-to-face job interview somemore walkin interview so I was a bit dunno what to do but the manager was nice and everything. In the end couldn't get the job cos of my dance schedule. They require 6 days x 8hrs per week. Unfortunately after deducting all my extra missable classes, I'm still only able to work 7hrs on one of the days... well... sigh...

After that we went IMM cos Jo wants exchange something at Giant and shop for Christmas gifts. Speaking of which I didn't give anyone Christmas gifts this year. Well basically I slacked my entire christmas off with my com and online job searches. Lol! Even the library - one of my favourite places - is closed! haha

Then, in order to catch some bra sale at Lot 1 decided to head down to Lot 1 haha. And imagine, we were wearing like 4+ inch heels all the time！LOL from bugis to IMM to CCK! By the end of the day Jo can hardly walk and my feet's hurting like hell!!! But we enjoyed looking TALL!!!! :P

Yesterday headed out all the way to Tanjong Pagar for our favourite Sakae Sushi buffet. Cos weekend only there got buffet. Haha Kevin's cute with keep wanting to da3bao1. Yan Ting's like poor thing coz her boot's sole came off and couldn't be stuck by super glue coz the tube's MINUTE lol. In the end she ripped out both her boot soles! fun cos no one can tell! Zhiwei's hair or hairless look cute and his mickey mouse cap!

Next Vien, zw, yt, kevin, yk went down with me to Durty Nelly's at Marina Square for interview. The interview went relatively well as in the manager is quite willing to talk about more to me such as CPF stuff, and inquiring more about my hours and such. I feel quite dumb not asking questions but judging by the environment and atmosphere, I will love it if they employ me! Well I will get my reply by latest Tue. HOPE HOPE HOPE!

Went RVDS'08 gathering at Vivo earlier... or so called yesterday. Almost everyone was there. Had dinner at Fig & Olive. Food was.... OK....? Just try not to order spaghettis. Their kehab seems nice and quite saucy but the spags just.. ok.... lol! Rather pay the same price for pastamania (:

After that went rooftop talk talk and play pass the current! Was like fun game. Haha I held the hand of the person I like and what can I say? I like the temperature of said hand ((: Funny thing uh? But I dislike holding warm palms coz I have very low palm and limbs temperature. Lol contrast doesn't feel good for me lol... but ya you will never guess who the person is! HAHAHA! I'm a LES!!! LOL up to you to believe ((: anyway don't think im into another of my infatuation/crush etc. Like means like not love not crush no butterflies in stomach or pink bubbles, not infatuation. Can just enjoy someone's company right (:
Anyway, we started from hitting other's lap to own lap to own head to own buttock! Lol should have video-ed the entire thing. Got so many weird reactions haha... Kept playing coz tried to locate the 'slow' person who always causes that group to lose LOL

Had a great time catching up and like talking to some people I don't usually talk with such as Jiayi haha and overall was just pure fun and exciting with a simple game that almost seems stupid to outsiders :) Caught up a bit with how everyone is and climax was when Jiayi lifted Dashu shoulder sit on his shoulder haha pure joy. Precious moment. :D

Had fun and miss RVDS ((:
Hope I get the job at Durty Nelly's S: (:
Jin Hwee is wild on the inside :D
~~ <3

2009-11-30T23:20:00.003+08:00

'A's is over! Hooray~! Miss dance lots. Miss longlao and dashu haha... and of 'cos e juniors and dancers (: I have the need to look for more dance classes haix...

Jin Hwee has a long long long wishlist! Lol but need lots money sia... Isn't X'mas coming soon? Santa grant me something? :D - V-front, V-back Leotards (from Sonata/Stage Image/online, staying off C.C. ones) in Maroon/Burgundy

- Trash pants (3/4 to full length) in Dark Red/Orange [S$32+ from Sonata]

- Wide V-neck dance/knitted sweater

- Bigger, softer bag for my dance stuff (:

2009-10-12T00:44:00.003+08:00

I love my friends. Yes, I do. But yet I find myself getting more and more impatient and less tolerant. I've changed? Yes, I have. But have they too?
I still love them. Love my sisters and k-ppl lots. But it may be for the different environment (study) we're immersed in now... common topics are less. And I hate it when ppl think im stupid. It's as if my results when better are 'cos my school's papers easier, when i score worse than some of them then it's natural.

It's by choice that I chose a path with noone i know. I wanted a change of environment and I managed it. But now when I look on fb, go for outings etc, it's as if... there's a break between me and the rest now. I see them enjoying 2 years I've missed spending with them. Regrets? I bet I have lots of that. But it's all a process of growing and maturing right? I will pull through just fine. (: After all I've been through teachers' pet -> flirt -> bimbo -> huachi -> possessiveness -> red alert -> friends -> eighteen.

Excessive time makes us think excessively, doesn't it? At least I'm glad to have regained my passion for dance after half finding a bore and dreading it and wasting lots money for 3 years. I'll pull through Grade 8 with Distinction just like how I did with the past 2. And score As for 'A' Levels. GOOD LUCK!

~

2009-09-10T02:55:00.004+08:00

So far so good.
Fri - east coast park w s21
Sat - Orchard w yishi
Sun - dance + clementi w sihui
Mon - Kbox w jt,lh,zh,anges,fr,cc,zf
Wed - study @ misslim's house

Having been studying much so feel alittle guilty. Supposed go study with jojo n yishi tmr one budden sick now... so see lor. haha...

sometimes i just wish someone, anyone, cares that i'm sick.
And it's good/bad that I usually don't LOOK sick... fine. but it feels terrible. and i just wish someone at least cared...

I'm actually a little 一朝被蛇咬十年怕井绳. Recently realised I'm a little paranoid + oversensitive over small stuff. Eg one person too long nv come online -> go check if the person blocked me. etc etc.. Well... just so someone x2 did it before? haha.. I'm afraid. Feel insecure around JJCians. To me it's a scary place full of hypocrites and being stupid like me I can't differentiate who's truly nice and who's just for show. For everything I do I feel so bloody self-conscious and it sucks truly.

I miss those emoticons u used to have. and more lols. and words of concerns eg 'have a good rest'. they're no longer existent for me. Sometimes I don't understand why things change all of a sudden and no one feels they've changed. Tried convincing myself 'cos now we know each other more budden is it the case? Really? Or 'cos there's someone else more important so acquaintances like me are no longer qualified for such stufF? LOL. hm.. will u still concern yourself over whether im eating etc? lol.. I miss the little concerns. But you've turned sweeter as a whole. Well done! Will have more girls 追 you! haha

Quite done with liking anyone.
Betrayed once, took too long to see the truth.

And it's funny how superficial ppl think I am. Am I? lol. Just 'cos i say i like this person means I LIKE the person but for me I treat him more as my elder bro...? Nevermind it. Love ppl to think I'm stupid, naive, simple-minded, superficial, huachi, despo, emo, mood-swingish etc.. :D
And they just have to drop hints here and there that I LIKE HIM? lol... i sooo appreciate the fact that after he knows we can't even be good friends or talk that easily anymore. So thanks ah. BUT seriously if I really like like him I would have made a move. Fact that I didn't means I'd rather we be good friends for now. THANK YOU.

Sometimes it's just exasperating.
But it's a good thing the person all these are ment for won't bother enough to click and read this blog. LOL! :P *pats chest*

I don't like your tone.

That's it.

2009-09-04T00:49:00.003+08:00

Prelims officially ended for me today! yays!
Except it's still not the time for me to play. 'cos jojo they all still having prelims. or in fact, they just started. haix...got half a temptation to accompany them go study. Considering the fact that by the time they finish prelim it'd be at least 3 weeks from now... by then it'll be my study period again la... but there's still always yishi and our shopping spree :D

S21 wanna have east coast park outing tmr (: I'm happy la. Always happy for an excuse to get myself out of my house before i explode from eating lol. And always happy for an excuse to play. What's more, it's with my class and miss lim's going (:
Except my side most ppl not going again. But there's still meiqin (: hope i won't feel THAT out of place. Shall look on the bright side and just think that it's too last min (:

Sometimes jinjin feels really out of place in school. It's like you belong neither here nor there. Hm... guess most ppl will not understand 'cos most belong somewhere while im like hanging from a thread dangling first here then there. Period uncertain. Subjected to all kind of forces, people pushing u away when they dun need u, pulling u when they need some comfort. What u can sometimes call 犯贱 ba lol. Maybe a little too harsh a term. But is it really? Im getting to become those kinda ppl u need u call me i'll appear budden otherwise ppl i treat as friends may never remember me. Even find my presence irritating sometimes. Yeps maybe it's jst my oversensitivity, isn't it? No emo-ing（：Ｉｔ's probably my own fault too 'cos i actually feel trapped when stuck with the same group if there's some ppl inside that i have thing i disagree with. Well...maybe that's the trait of librans. Sociable. I just can't feel stuck with one group of people.

Anyway, it's time I can go singing!
And I FINALLY did something to pack my books and cleared the surface of 1/6 of my table :P

OHYA! I met 'Mr Smart' again. Well it's just this one guy i noticed while studying in BPP Mac with Fengru 2-3 sundays ago. Or rather fengru alerted me to this guy who was teaching a girl some academics stuff. Met him again previous sunday while studying with jo n sihui in West Mall BK. Cool. He's teaching again. This time 'O's students. haha it's rare i recognise ppl liddat. But wow... that's coincidental :D

Anyway recently i realised somethings about myself i've never discovered.
I'm a religious freethinker. (:
I like news-based talkshows like ‘关键时刻’ hosted by 刘宝杰 :D
And i like financial programs which i can relate to emotionally, e.g. ‘57金钱爆’ once again hosted by 刘宝杰 :P
I think politics are dirty when all politicians can think about are their personal gains and never remembers the people. :X
I like 命理 programs. haha

Flee Fled Flight

2009-08-19T14:16:00.007+08:00

Have you felt like you don't want to see a person or a group of friends? Want to just hide and or flee when you see them probably 5m away?

That's how I always feel when e.g. today. Said I wasn't walking then forced by circumstances had to walk to lakeside to top up ez-link. And that day after class outing, said I taking 190 in the end took LRT. Don't know why in this kind of situation I don't want my friends to see me 'cos they will ask and I will feel weird with the answer. But it's not really my choice to 'stalk' them also. It just feels weird.

Made the right choice not?

Sometimes I feel like a 死缠烂打 person. 'Cos I feel like the one sticking to people's backside and asking e.g. 'eating?', 'going home?' and stuff. And in return they don't even bother to remember you when you're not there. That's a sign you mean nothing to them? Hm... I know one shouldn't ask for anything in return. I guess when u start feeling uncomfortable with 1 group of people you should move on? Or is this merely the transition period? Will things change for the better or the worse? Sometimes I feel they or rather he stole my friends? Well that's a super childish thought :P But really, because he's becoming closer and closer to them I feel like the distance between me and both are increasing.

Well whatever. I don't like guys.
And unfortunately no, I'm not a les (:

PS: I've liked that guy for almost 3 months? Wow... another reason to toss him to the wind. If you've been guessing, no it's not who you think 'cos I don't go for guys with girlfriends :)

Prelims

2009-08-18T20:56:00.003+08:00

My first paper started today. H2 Maths P1. I guess it's not that difficult a paper but I can't seem to really handle it. Serves myself right for not starting to revise early and thus not having enough time to do practices. Really. Compared to my friends I'm so slacker. Haven't probably even done half the amount of practices they did. Cannot repeat the same thing for 'A's! Jiayou! At least there's still P2. Hope I can 扳回一城? Can one la...at least hopefully stats can pull me up.

GP tomorrow and I haven't touched it. Literally. Hope blogging can improve my prep for language？LOL. Doubt anyone or many people actually started on GP. I really hope it won't be too difficult and that I'll have inspiration for essay, time for AQ and good understanding ability for P2. Oh and plus intellect for summary. Gosh. Good luck to me and all who read this (:

No emo-ing! Jin jin will always smile through difficulties. So will you right? :D

Mm I guess I'm really gonna stop thinking about him. When you know you mean nothing to somebody, it's time to make him mean nothing to you right? Trying too hard to fit just yields the opposite effect. If S can do it I can do it :D haha. I still know nothing of love and this is so not the time to ponder over relationships especially one that may very likely never come to anything. At least now we're still friends, aren't we? (:

Ya no worries I'm not emo-ing. Really. I've so outgrown the emo period and it's so much easier to live everyday with a smile. Just hope there can be less conflicts around me that I've got to endure. Don't try to find out what these conflicts are 'cos no worries, they ain't related to any of you who will read this.

Jin really really misses dancing with RVDS, 'meetings' with RVIC :X Miss 李老师 and 王达老师. And of cos, dancers and all. Miss Mr Ferrer's classes and Miss Elaine too. Miss singing with jojo, sihui. Miss so many things. But in life sometimes losing something makes one cherish these memories more. :S

Wonder who will celebrate my birthday with me this year... there won't be him I'm sure. :)

Special jiayou and good luck for yishi dear (:

Just some songs <33

2009-08-12T21:34:00.003+08:00

Lots of things happened this period of time while I was away from blog. Good and bad.
Anyway recently there're some songs that I really love so I decided to just share. Not according to sequence. (:

哥本哈根的童话 - 王心如

纪念 - 六甲乐团

身骑白马 - 徐佳莹

王妃 - 萧敬腾

Please Grow Up (:

2009-06-03T20:11:00.004+08:00

Mm if you know me you should know that I'm super straightforward MOST of the time. Well and the fact that I have lots of people who will feed all you've said to them about me back to me of their own accord without me having to hold anyone hostage with a knife or gun. lol

So to some people whom I don't wish to embarrass in public by confrontation or to embarrass on the internet via identification of name on my blog, yet, I'm ALL FINE with u saying stuff in front of me but don't always do 'go by the back door' kind of things. It's so despicable. Anyway, also make sure that before u comment about someone with the extreme words 'must be', 'always', 'sure', 'definitely', make sure u know the person well enough. Don't talk cock in public. It does nothing but shame yourself esp after people know the truth.
Esp before you accuse someone else of being 'stupid/idiotic/wu liao' to press all lvls of the lift when that wuliao person stood far far away and did nothing. I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE MALIGNS ME. but you're still not impt enough for me to hate you. LOL. just a piece of advice, don't make more people dislike you. However bad EQ i have (I do admit my EQ is very bad to some people), maybe cos of my straightforwardness i can always check to the origin of stuff. Be careful who you BITCH about me to 'cos sometimes w/o u knowing u're already getting lotsa enemies though i didn't do anything. No one likes a friend who BITCHES about others (:

I've got lots to say but since its abt <3 den i dun go despo here anymore (: Anyway, ya, i very fickle-minded one so pls stop spreading about e person i like. Not that i don't trust you all i just think that if the person knows I'll be super paiseh. And to my friend who likes the same person as me, don't worry, I think we're still impossible. (:
Quote FengRu: 'I still prefer to be pursued by others.' (((:

Dedicated to my besties.

2009-05-24T04:23:00.005+08:00

Well I haven't been updating for a long long time... say... half a year? lol. Many a times, I wanted to update because I had plenty of emotions and experiences I want to share. Then thinking...it's a little hard to type them out. When I blog, sometimes I just lose track of my thoughts.

1. You know what, sometimes with my personality and randomity of my thoughts, I don't blame others for judging me as weird or crazy. Mm...that's why I wonder how many people actually truly understands or knows me. Today, something highlighted it even more. Sometimes I blame myself for the need to make everything so crystal clear, especially in terms of people-to-people relations. Especially when dealing with guys, they don't really feel comfortable when u ask them something like "Do you have something against me?" However, that's precisely the thing I do. Which is why I can mess up relationships with some people :P
Mm... today the experience is Zhang Fan. If I've been talking to you lately, - I mean talking in depth - you'd know that I've got this feeling that he's got something against me. E.g. When I say something he just doesn't believe. Plus I admit I've done things to irritate him 'cos i just feel like rebutting these people and being straightforward as I am, I'll always ding zui when I kan bu shaung. Well when I suspect, I choose to seek clarification, precisely the thing I did but it somehow complicated stuff instead because of misinterpretations. I guess I just don't get along with some people. Who cares.

2. Mmm... there's this guy I 'like' and well my friend likes him too. At first I was determined to give him up for her. Even though she admitted to finding him attractive, she started denying when we talk about it too often. Nevertheless, most of us can see that she truly likes him. Hmm...be it crush or anything. Well, I don't know.. sometimes I get a bit envious of her. At least she's more of his type (I think) and he has a better impression of her than me, considering all my idiocracies and craziness. Besides, I'll bet he finds me weird, random and crazy. Especially when I'm sure a number of the friends around him no doubt finds me so. And as always, I worsen situations when I like someone. Though this time is different from the past. I actually started avoiding him for don't know what reason. I just dun feel like meeting his eyes, don't feel like looking at his direction during lessons except maybe peep from the corner of my eye. It's like I'm too too too afraid of giving myself ANY hope because I know he's too out of my reach. And more and more out of my reach with everyday that passes. Many's telling me to not think about relationships now and I don't really want to commit to a relationship to disrupt my studies or his, but he's the kind I want to be good friends with. Especially when if it's someone with a different personality with him, I could have become good friends with him easily.

3. That beside, being the girl with a boyish personality who likes to hang around guys and finds it easier to talk with guys, I guess my craziness and openness do give people the wrong idea. Apparently even Qin told me although I may treat 'T' as my good friend/buddy only, that's apparently not how people see it from the exterior. Well that's why I feel JC life is so different from RV. I miss those freedom of playing and mixing with guys cos apparently when I'm with some whiny girls or even when with gentle girls, I feel like I have to be the 'mature' and more 'quiet' party to be the 'listener'. It's only with guys whom they allow me to be childish and say and do lots of things without getting angry/pissed so easily or get the wrong idea. And I'm tired of emo people. I wanna be happy everyday. I'm happy being with our clique but sometimes it's different what things you chat about with different groups of people. And such experiences are intriguing. Hearing others' opinions is really interesting which is why sometimes I don't really like stick around with one group of people. Not that they're not nice or I don't like them. I'm happy with them but Librans love to socialize. However, this friend whom denies liking 'T' though everyone knows she likes him, starts pushing him to me. Don't care out of jealousy or what not. But it's so not true. I'm not someone who chases after a friends candy.

4. Besides, I really have to apologize to my great friends with such high tolerance levels. Sometimes I'm not buaysong or unhappy, I'm just too tired to smile. Sometimes I didn't mean to sound mean, I'm just not smiling. Sometimes I didn't mean to make u shocked or feel hurt, I'm just straightforward. Sometimes I want to listen, but I just don't know what to say in return. Sometimes... I feel very touched that despite all these unhappiness you may or may not have towards me, you people still accepted me.
To Liao Heng, sorry for scolding you over the phone when I truly wished to scold 'Mr Y' for his lack of consideration. You had to put up with my agitation for a whole 5 minutes. Sorry for saying things like 'wo yan li zhi you ni'. It's all out of good fun. Please don't take me seriously.
To Hanisah, sorry for being rude etc at you at pizza hut on friday. I didn't mean anything, except that I wasn't smiling and I know I look pissed/unhappy/serious when not smiling. I had medicine and was super tired. Sorry for sometimes being so firm with you, because I feel that you should stand up for yourself. Don't let people push you around. You must understand that it's important to be considerate to yourself too. Consider what you like and don't like and SOMETIMES you have to think of yourself and reject things you don't like. Say no to people like 'T' if you really don't feel like entertaining her whines for hours. Love you always always though, cereal (:

5. I'm leading a 'booked 7 days a week' life. Mon-Fri I have lessons and homework. Sat-Sun I have dance. Which is why I'm thinking of dropping Ms Chng's lessons on Sun because despite her being a strict and marvellous teacher whom exposed me to much in just 1 lesson with her, I really want to study hard. Half my saturday is gone because I have to start prepping for dance at 1530 when it starts at 1700 and ends at around 1900, then I'll normally reach home about 2000. On sunday it's sort of worse, prep starts at 1130, dance at 1315 to around 1500 and I actually reach home at 1600. Sometimes just as I was getting into the mood for studies, I have to prep for dance. When i just reach home, I'm too tired to study. I really want to work hard and catch up on lots. I want to go out and commit myself to study on saturdays and sundays. But dropping sunday lessons also mean a great drop in the possibility of my taking Inter-Foundation Exams this year. It's a matter of whether it's important for me. Which is more important.

Just a few last words 'cos I'm too tired to continue. Going sleep.
To Jo, I miss you lots! Go out study together (:
To Sihui, miss you!
To Yishi, want go study together? Must jiayou together, you can do it k!

This Holiday...

2008-12-28T20:44:00.002+08:00

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE! It's been a LONG time since I posted. haha... have been playing well the role of ying3 xing2 ren2 a.k.a. Miss Invisible at home. Too lazy to go out. Anyway, have been watching REAL lots of dramas and I decided to come out with my own blog to introduce Asian Dramas (inclusive of TaiwanDrama, HongKongDrama, ThaiDrama!, ChineseDrama, JapaneseDrama, KoreanDrama), providing opinions, links and translations for requested dramas. YAY...must support. I know I'll enjoy (:

BLOG SHOPPING

2008-12-06T02:17:00.006+08:00

hehe... time for... NEW YEAR SHOPPING! i really want shop and buy but too lazy go out liao. besides dunno where to go shop for cheap and pretty dresses. these days, even This Fashion seems so too formal or too casual. nothing suitable. Haixx.... Went blog shopping to 'research' abit and found a number of good blogshops! and most of them allow meetups! best for ppl like me who dont trust mail! LOL First not equal best!

i'm just showing the dresses i like. There are more!

http://your-fashion-style.blogspot.com/ dresses going at 1 for SGD 16.50, 5 for SGD 15.50 each.

http://shopthenbuy.blogspot.com/

this one at SGD15.70 without belt.

http://bubblesjetty.blogspot.com/

this dress at SGD20.

http://l-otsalove.blogspot.com

I dunno whether it is new or second hand. But this one in YELLOW is going for SGD15!

Hot pink tube dress going at SGD10!!! w/o belt.

One of my favourites for the day! but preorder.

http://anyshop.blogspot.com

1 for SGD16.50, 5 for SGD15.50 each, 10 for SGD14.50 each

Have fun!

PHOTOS

2008-11-08T23:48:00.013+08:00

lol. i was bored am bored so decided to throw in some pictures (:

First of all, some of my besties in class :D no ranking system (:

HANISAH!:

ARLHA!

ZHIHENG!

MEIQIN! (the pretty girl in red)

My most sincere apologies to XUEJIE for not having her photo coz most photos aint taken with my lousy phone cam and thus with other ppl =X

Now some random pics of 08s21 which i koped. LOL.

class photo with zhou1 da4 xia2 <3>

class photos with yuen after chem:

class photos with lai:

Now something fun! Guess who this is!

Now some recent pics with RVians <3

4C outing to celebrate Shirui & Jingmin's birthdays at New York New York. This is...erm i forgot where. LOL somewhere cityhall. aiya i lu4 chi1 :P

For my RV besties!

SIHUI!:

with her new specs (:

Travelling through time with the aid of Ziyi's laptop (:

JO-LIN! (went swimming!)

YISHI!

THE K-ge Trio!

RVIC <3333!:>

interact instal camp 08:

meeting for dinner at sakae (:

waimin dianfeng sihui me

tongjing me sihui waimin

me sihui waimin

my president and me! (:

Some cam whoring!~

with sihui's specs (:

just an act-cute-random shot :P

Wow it took a LONG TIME!

hope u enjoy!

Regarding religion...

2008-11-08T15:21:00.003+08:00

ok. i guess i should give a brief recount of what happened before i start venting. i was at home using the com then suddenly the doorbell behind me rang and somone knocked on the door. happily thinking that its my mum, i opened the door then stared stunned as two middle aged ladies stand in front of me. i thought they were some visitors looking for my mum or grandma or sth then one of them started asking me what do u think abt the current problem of recession, changes in climate etc. then link to bible then start telling me abt God. Well...

Let me tell u what i really think. I do believe in heaven, in god. but of no specific religion. no ONE religion. I didnt know that Christanity is going so far as to doing door-to-door sales. LOL. ok i meant no offense. its jst too exaggerated. probably its quite right when some ppl told me "Christians want everyone to convert to their religion'. (or probably they are promoting Catholism)

Seriously i dont know whoever is running one part of this Christian population which allows or rather encourages or makes use of ur people's belief (willingly) to disrupt or harrass people who are NOT of ur religion to believe in what u believe. i wonder whats ur purpose behind it. Have u even asked ur God if he(it) wants the whole world to believe in him, whether he wants to interrupt the lives of people just because they dont pray to him everyday? God being a greater being, i believe, is more forgiving and not so petty and do not really ask for the faith of everyone or the reward of belief from everyone. cos i believe god of all kinds are wei3 da4 and wu2 si1 and therefore do things for the good of everyone not for the faith.

You are saying that the bible assures a beautiful world beautiful future. You are saying that God being the creator of heaven and earth can make everything right again, make reparations to illdeeds and unpredictabilities of human. So i guess in the end u are asking me to convert (or rather i was a freethinker) to Christianity (or Catholic) or maybe some other religion u are representing cos God can make the world right? I guess if God is god, deities are deities, fairies are fairies, then they wouldnt mind so much how many people believe in them at all, if they had the rights, the methods, to repair this world. They will do it no matter what because i believe they do it for the good of the world, not only for those who believe in them.

I dont plunge solid in any religion cos i think and i know that i cant possibly agree with every rule or philosophy of a religion, every religious practice. therefore i choose to have my own believes.

meanwhile, this is not meant to insult or offend any person or religion. It is merely some personal thoughts. I truly believe everyone have the rights to their thoughts and i pay my respect to all religions. But i guess we have to remember, obsession in anything can be disastrous.

08s21 dinner with yuen :D

2008-11-06T23:06:00.004+08:00

Well, yesterday was OP and today went school submit I&R. Im so glad all the PW stuff are OVER NOW!!! lol XD finally. haha.

Anyway had to rush home to change at 3pm then come out at 442pm again cos we meeting at clementi at 530. in the end i was the FIRST to reach! WOOOHOO!!! haha super rare sia considering i was rarely on time in the first place :P So i went shop shop at the MRT shop. Wah got book rental sia. haha next time can go there search abit XD then when ard 530 went back control station meiqin, george, zhiheng, zhehui were already there. haha 15mins 4ppl appear. lol then waited for some ppl and made our way to Sakura. i just realised its somewhere near UCC. waited awhile, eat eat eat, cam whore. haha i shall blog the pics if i feel nice enough next week :P cos apparently my own phone nv take alot pics (:

Our part of the table was totally full of food sia. so full. haha. and heard my favourite song "I don't want to miss a thing' by aerosmith. and some other songs i love. then the player suddenly spoil then keep repeating the same sound. then we totally feel like laughing sia. Then played 终极密码 to clear up the 3 worm-looking clam thing. irk... ok the thing tasted like seawater is ok for me (: After that ate wasabi for heng cos his forfeit. never thought the wasabi made my stomach churn like siao. totally uncomfy. :X but a heroine and loyal fren there XD

So the half of our table there decided to go out walk walk at clementi woods lol. jiantao zhehui liaoheng meiqin zhiheng me we went outside walk walk to digest some of our food. heng and i ended up talking some things. yah... i really think i understand vry little stuff abt life. but yet i know alot abt what i want in life i guess. yupps. searching for perfection in an imperfect life. cool. hahas.

Anyway when we came back inside, i started to high :P I came out with like all the outings stuff and start asking around. like watching Rec on 10nov monday. I also want go K with heng, qin and jie, maybe addy. Want go Sentosa and East Coast to cycle oso. haha. Anyway the class going Kbox with Low on 13nov thurs which was initially the date i wanted to set to go Sentosa. Haix...always clash with my one lor.... =X Haha then cos i keep asking ard if ppl on this date that date then Mr Yuen was like totally dudiao and give me the 'ridiculous' and 'wat are u doing' or 'are u ok?' kind of expression. LOL! but nvm i happy to know we going out XD

Discussed horror movie with jiantao at the busstop. George kevin eugene jason anli yangzhi jinghui anges fengru went play pool after that. actually dun rly feel like gg home yet budden cos no one i rly familiar with gg so i decided not to go. lol. then i realised was quite late le when i boarded the bus. so good choice. cos girls with escorts like me should apparently reach home before 11? LOL dangerous sia (:

Haix...tmr have to go back school 915 for econs....abit sian dunwan wake up so early. :P but nvm la... byebye for now (:

2008-11-04T02:32:00.005+08:00

Went City Hall with mum today. Wore my beloved cap :D Nothing much to blog about. We went walk walk then found nothing to shop. So went LuLu Restaurant or Cafe or something at Raffles City Shopping to grab lunch. Well the noodles was oily, the fried rice better (: Anyway we kena conned some money then decided to get deodorant from Marks n Spencer and look all around at all those scented body wash and perfumes, smelling smelling smelling... finally we decided shop at West Mall instead. LOL cos Raffles City stuff too ex la :X

In the end I went library borrow books cos rly nothing do mah. lol. recently just love reading :D Paid my library fines FINALLY. years le. LOL! 14.10bucks :P ex sia.

Anw its OP week and wed is my turn so later have meeting. 1230pm. ok la not too earli :P must rmb print script and do I&R!!!! haix...too lazy :P erm...still not too nervous (:

GAHS...

I'm like extremely bored now so decided to do some random stuff :P

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Ng Jin Hwee

2. WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? brown checkered shorts

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? nothing.

4. ARE YOUR LEGS CROSSED? yups (:

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? dark chocolate digestive biscuits from Marks and Spencer?

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? white :D

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? well middle of the night...windy?

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Ms Audrey Lim

9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? height?

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? oh the day feels so perfect :D

12. FAVOURITE DRINK? ermm bubble tea :D

13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? dunno.

14. FAVOURITE SPORT? erm swimming...?

15. FAVOURITE HAIR COLOUR? ebony brown, auburn, wine red.

16.FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR? brown (like honey (: )

17.DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yepss.

18. SIBLINGS?? elder sister younger brother.

19. FAVOURITE FOOD? shrugs :P mmm....chilli?? anything spicy?

20. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Connected :D

21.FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? my birthday (:

23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? not really

24. DO YOU LIKE MARMITE? NAH

25. SUMMER OR WINTER? winter. (:

26. HUGS OR KISSES? huggs (:

27. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate (:

28. U LOVE? family. my close friends (:

31 LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? with family? parents + siblings + maid.

32. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? romance: The Billionaire Date

33. DID YOU WAKE UP BEFORE YOUR ALARM WENT OFF? sometimes.

37. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? mm... shows (dramas, movies), dance, books, friends, sister (:

38. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? sweet pls :D

39. FAVOURITE CRISPS? bbq/hot n spicy

40. FAVOURITE CAR? dunno. sleek.

41.FAVOURITE FLOWERS? roses. red, blue, white, pink, purple.

42. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEYRING? 2.

43. CAN YOU JUGGLE? never learnt :D

44. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Sunday?? None really :)

45. RED OR WHITE WINE? red. actually i never tried white.

46. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? nothing much. stayed at home, go receive presents, celebrate with family.

47. DO YOU OWN A DONOR CARD? nope.

48.THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING? mm. shit, have to get up, going be late le. OR erm...tink of excuse dun go school :P

49. DREAMDATE? not needed at the moment.

50. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED THIS? mm....watch more videos?

I had a dream...

2008-10-31T19:38:00.015+08:00

Last night, or rather this morning, i had a dream. I cant remember the dream vividly but i have a rough memory of parts of it. Well, it includes ZaiZai aka Vic Zhou from F4. LOL. talk about the non-sensical stuff in dreams.

Well I guess it had to do that i kept saying that I want get married yesterday. Maybe in addition, I kept thinking that i want get married these few days. LOL. life's such a hastle. I wish I can just live off a man, don't have to worry about money, can buy all i want, have someone to talk to when im bored etc. Isn't it such a wonderful life? Well with the exception of that of cause the man must have enough money for me to spend and must respect and dote on me (:

There's whats related to my dream. In my dream i cant remember exactly what. but i have zaizai-look-alike (honestly he wasnt ever my dreamdate before -.-) as my husband or boyfriend. I think it was boyfriend. I couldnt rmb. Anyway something happened and i sort of felt that theres something lacking between the 2 of us. Is it love? Freshness? or anything. i dont rmb. Anyway thats what set me thinking. I rmb something like i thought we werent suited because of that and i thought about breaking up. Then somehow all of a sudden i thought maybe if i learn to tolerate this actually we are quite ok tgt, also never quarrel or anything everything seem quite perfect except for this lack. Somewhere along this line i woke up. Then i thought... so i can actually be together with someone i dont love that much just because i feel nice with him? Am i that kind of person??

Furthermore, I thought. So thats why people can stay so long in relationships? Say years? It seems so tough, so difficult so close to impossible for me. To marry someone and be together for 30 years?? Then it struck me maybe this is why when in our grandparents' time more or less alot people married out of their parents' arrangement and not rly out of love, this is how they live tgt for so long evn if some of them were never in the 'flaming love' stage? And i thought actually maybe just maybe will i enjoy being with someone who loves me but i dun like tt much. I'll probably grow to love him....

*sigh*

Anyway, this morning i woke up i got this message from sihui tt leelaoshi had 7 slots for a kelong trip tmr. BOOHOOHOO.... I CANT GO! because of dance. i guess i wldn have pon dance and went if not tt i dun rly feel like gg out of the house so early and dun want slp earli and feel abit guilty last min den tell them i pon dance. haixx........ i rly want go la...

And yesterday went watch the much-wanted-to-watch 'Connected' by Barbie Hsu(<3)andLouis Koo(<3).SOOOOO kind hearted hero. seriously if anyone else esp in singapore and fast paced places like america and hongkong ppl wld have just left it to the police or something. A rare bread nowadays, he is. or rather the character is. well i went with jo and her a-hem friend. and i sort of got a bit grouchy. it just sucks being the lightbulb when in the first place i was hoping so much to meet her and have some talking and shopping. i get to do none.

Anyway after that i went to get my much-wanted cap from Tom & Stefanie. Went purposely to West Mall and had this really great sense of satisfaction. Fine im feeling slightly better le (: But there's this sales with really cheap clothes and theres a blouse at 5bucks that i feel like buying and Tshirts at 4bucks. ya so i wear cheap stuff so what? u can barely carry off ur branded goods (:

I went home and tried to fix that mp3 earpiece which is giving me some prob. well one side is spoilt in the minimum -.- And spent today idling at home hogging the com :p and reading an old novel 'A Billionaire's Date' i rented from Beauty World Book Store. Bit boring. Slightly satisfied cos i finally dun have to go school! YAHHOOOO! LOL

Ohh that day wednesday went K with sihui and edi. We totally K old songs like no one's business :P FUN! like 黄金年华 :P lol. too bad i haven been taking pics lately. Anyway we (sihui and i) were talking then i said i will be the kind who hangs out at pubs and clubs next time when i grow up. Man... i so love the nightlife environment... (: But need someone send me home. haha :) Anyway sihui, I watching 还珠格格1 now :P nehnehpoopoo... lols

recently i feel like watching horror movies but i can find none. 'Mirrors' is M18 and i think they stop showing liao.

And i found this really GREAT lakorn (thai drama)! Yeps, thai. lol with english subtitles. This one that totally charmed and engaged me is call Prissana. by Tik and Taya Rogers. love love love. but its not fully subbed yet :(

Nah let u have a glimpse: Prissana Playlist

one of my favourite moments. This is the second time they met i believe... Btw, the male lead's a Prince in the show.
Prissana 4.8

Continue:
Prissana 5.1

one small part before ending:
Prissana 5.2

Anyway just watch and u'll know why i like this serial and lakorn overall so much XD have fun! PS: thailand got shuai ge :D

Just a number of things.

2008-10-25T07:18:00.006+08:00

There are a number of things I'd like to do...

Wash my xiao gou (erm should I wash my Darling too?)
Read some chinese essay eg. 少年文摘/青年文摘
Go library read Historical Romances.
Do some self-studying?
Find nice and engaging games to play eg. Cashflow =X
Just sit there and listen to my favourite songs: Making love out of nothing at all - Air Supply, 死了都要爱-信乐团，I don't want to miss a thing- Aerosmith, 失恋无罪-A-Lin and a couple more. Just feel like hearing some soft-rock songs XD
~~Have a good friendship with him.~~
Go Sentosa.
Go Pool.
Go swimming.
Perform.
~~Watch 'Connected'~~
Just go out with friends.
~~Go K.~~
Get back into a good relationship with my maomao.

I forgot some now -.- sui bian la...

Things are not how you want them to be...

2008-10-17T21:09:00.009+08:00

I'll admit something here. I need attention yet I need my own space. In short I need concern. That's it really. That's probably why I have my own blog, to record my own thoughts and allow people a chance to care for me....

Anyway I really want a scholarship to study overseas. Yet I SO know I'm not going to get it. ALMOST NEVER.

I went online to check for the basic requirements and criteria for some overseas scholarships offered and realised you need at least 11 units of A level subjects. And look at what I'm taking now. 6 units of H2, PW, CL, GP, Econs. ONLY 10. TEN! Do you see how harsh reality falls on you, crushing ALL your hopes of pursuing something? To the extent that even IF i ever get straight As for my As, I'm NEVER gonna get that scholarship! Just because I never take enough units! And I'm stuck in the condition that I dunno whether I should take H3 Chem and I think the application date has ended anyway? And I dont want to take and withdraw next year during the withdrawal period and end up wasting my own money!

It just gets so damn tiring to have all hopes all motivation gone in just a puff. Just a click of your computer's mouse. Yet so many people are not yet realising what's awaiting them in the future. What disadvantages they'll be facing. I realised already too late. Too late to appeal for 4 H2s, too late to transfer to somewhere which will offer me a better environment and chance..

And I'm getting a bit tired really. I just want my break. I just want the teachers to shoot through everything and give me my holidays! Stop all that crap about Sports Carnival whatever whatever. Or rather just stop forcing US to join things we dont want to. And I dislike my CCA. I dislike YP. But yet I still have to do them cos I have to take a CCA no matter what. And I just want a whole lot of time, one period of time to just stay at home.

I'm at my limits now. No patience and definitely no time and tolerance for your nonsense and arrogance. LOOK! ok? LOOK! you're not that good! Do you see?!! The world out there is so damn big and you just dont see it, being cooped up in your little corner... -.-

Ok actually I know some of you may be thinking 'you are saying all that. It's not as if you're very humble either -.-' Yah I agree that I have this composure that people tell me makes me very unapproachable, very attitude, very cold, very arrogant looking. If that's what you have to think, think it. I'd rather be cold than FAKING warmth. And I'm telling you here.

Do you even realise you're the one making yourself very unapproachable?!

My 17th Birthday!

2008-10-06T23:27:00.024+08:00

5Oct was my 17th birthday! this year is one of my happiest birthdays! firstly, started off by celebrating with my family on 1oct!

my birthday cake!

i have some photos with my family but i shall not reveal them!

my mummy actually really gave me a bouquet of flowers because i said i liked flowers! <3>

my flowers!

my sis's bouquet!

me with the bouquet!

decided to make them into dried flowers. they are quite lasting you know! after removing the water for a few days this is how they look today:

lol. still pretty! almost got pricked while trying to take the picture :X

haha then actually jo-lin sihui and me wanted to go K-ing on Sunday, 5oct. but ended up jo had pw so we postponed it. but i went out to meet zhiwei & vivien at lot 1 and got my presents!!!! LOVE LOTS!

my new big soft toy gou gou!!!! haha have to think of new name for it! cute! :D

this is the other soft toy doggy wenhui they all gave me when i was in sec 1! named Darling!

DARLING <3

Take a photo together!

One more!

Come make friends! Hello! (PS: notice how much space they take up? that's a 3-sitter sofa.)

Still got 1 pair of earrings!

Zhiwei said he chose both the dog and earrings. really happy that they remember what i said.

thanks for the present: vivien, zhiwei, eeseng, yingming, yensze, yufeng!

And thanks to all those who remembered my birthday!

anyway, went bugis to buy toepad today. no money so no choice have to buy cheap stuff, Ting's toepad for S$3.50:

actually a bit too thick for my pointe shoes :X

oks. thats it for today! its 7oct now!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANGKANG & SINHOU!