I'll admit something here. I need attention yet I need my own space. In short I need concern. That's it really. That's probably why I have my own blog, to record my own thoughts and allow people a chance to care for me....
Anyway I really want a scholarship to study overseas. Yet I SO know I'm not going to get it.
ALMOST NEVER.
I went online to check for the basic requirements and criteria for some overseas scholarships offered and realised you need at least 11 units of A level subjects. And look at what I'm taking now. 6 units of H2, PW, CL, GP, Econs. ONLY 10. TEN! Do you see how harsh reality falls on you, crushing ALL your hopes of pursuing something? To the extent that even IF i ever get straight As for my As, I'm NEVER gonna get that scholarship! Just because I never take enough units! And I'm stuck in the condition that I dunno whether I should take H3 Chem and I think the application date has ended anyway? And I dont want to take and withdraw next year during the withdrawal period and end up wasting my own money!
It just gets so damn tiring to have all hopes all motivation gone in just a puff. Just a click of your computer's mouse. Yet so many people are not yet realising what's awaiting them in the future. What disadvantages they'll be facing. I realised already too late. Too late to appeal for 4 H2s, too late to transfer to somewhere which will offer me a better environment and chance..
And I'm getting a bit tired really. I just want my break. I just want the teachers to shoot through everything and give me my holidays! Stop all that crap about Sports Carnival whatever whatever. Or rather just stop forcing US to join things we dont want to. And I dislike my CCA. I dislike YP. But yet I still have to do them cos I have to take a CCA no matter what. And I just want a whole lot of time, one period of time to just stay at home.
I'm at my limits now. No patience and definitely no time and tolerance for your nonsense and arrogance. LOOK! ok? LOOK! you're not that good! Do you see?!! The world out there is so damn big and you just dont see it, being cooped up in your little corner... -.-
Ok actually I know some of you may be thinking 'you are saying all that. It's not as if you're very humble either -.-' Yah I agree that I have this composure that people tell me makes me very unapproachable, very attitude, very cold, very arrogant looking. If that's what you have to think, think it. I'd rather be cold than FAKING warmth. And I'm telling you here.
Do you even realise you're the one making yourself very unapproachable?!
Labels: vent
_____________________________________